Yearning
by IsabellaHeat
Summary: *A/U Enchanted Forest, Swan Queen* Very dark! Sometimes the story isn't so black and white sometimes the shades of grey are what make us who we are. Emma and Regina know this very well as they tell their story of how love can make the purest soul perform the wickedest deed.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes/Rantings/Warnings:** **THIS IS AS DARK IF NOT DARKER THAN HELPLESS! BE WARNED THAT NEITHER OF THESE STORIES ARE FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. THIS CONTAINS RAPE, TORTURE, ABUSE, MURDER, POLITICAL INTRIGUE, AND VARIETY OF IN BETWEENS! This also switches between the past and present for the first few chapters but then it will split itself off to be the past in one chapter and the present in another. I hope you will stick with it since I know that can get confusing at least according to my wife it was so that's why I separated it. This is very special to me much like Helpless so I hope you will read it with an open mind and don't get too angry about the things that have taken place to get to this point in the story. **

**Yearning **

**Chapter 1**

Regina shifted and slowly opened her eyes staring around for a moment. In that brief second she could almost swear she was back in the place of her childhood but then she remembered she was home. Her own home finally after so long without having one. She shifted her naked body sliding against the black silk sheets before she felt an arm previously settled loosely around her waist tighten and draw her back.

"Sleep is now my love. Why must you be such an early riser?" A gravelly voice spoke behind her.

"Someone has to rouse you." She spoke softly, her voice taking on the familiar lilting quality of seduction she knew her wife loved to hear.

A green eye peered at her from behind a mess of blonde curls some strewn forward across her lover's beautiful face.

"Oh? So you have rousing in mind?"

Regina smiled, turning over to face her fully. She brushed back the blonde curls and pressed a light kiss to her forehead. "No. We did plenty of that last night."

"So we did. So what pray tell has you awake at this ungodly hour?" Emma growled softly causing Regina to shift forward and settle back down.

"Nothing Adonia," Regina tapped her nose with a long nailed finger.

Emma grinned at her private nickname that Regina had bestowed on her so long ago making an appearance. In her language that Emma had never fully learned but was attempting it meant golden one. She took a breath through her nose letting it out through her mouth. The smell of apples and sex permeated the air of their large bed chamber mostly because of their previous activities and Regina's favor for the smell since it was the first fruit she'd ever eaten upon being brought to the Enchanted Forest.

"Now I'm awake my love. What do we intend to do about this?"

"There is something I must do?" Regina asked even as she spread her legs as Emma moved on top of her willing to accommodate her in whatever way was wished of her.

"Yes you must." Emma slid down so that her lips were more level with Regina's and pressed them there. She felt her lover's deceptively strong arms come up and embrace her as their kisses quickly turned passionate.

* * *

When the sun awoke fully its light streamed through stained glass windows to light on two very content bodies hidden beneath silken bed sheets.

Regina opened her eyes much later to feel fingers running down her bare back tracing the outlines of the very large, very elaborate phoenix that had been placed there when she was sixteen an age where if something had happened to her father she would've been allowed to rule as was her right. Yet all of that had been stripped away from her, everything but the phoenix she wore proudly emblazoned on her skin.

"Emma?" She asked softly, glancing over her shoulder.

Rich green met warm brown before Emma was leaning up pressing her lips to Regina's in a greeting before pulling away.

"I have to meet with my advisors in a bit my love. Will you join us or would you rather lounge in bed today? I know you are still tired from your performance last night. You were amazing. I don't think the dignitaries knew what to make of the queen performing like that."

"They didn't believe me capable of such feats with my body." Regina agreed with a smile as she turned over dislodging Emma from her place sitting astride her hips. Emma fell back happily against the bed causing it to shake slightly though it remained solid when Regina turned over fully revealing her toned stomach and beautiful small breasts that Emma adored so much.

"You are a magnificent dancer. They haven't seen anything so overtly sexual though not since we made alliances with Agrabah and the Sultan and even then they were tame compared to your dances."

"It would be considered a great disservice not to use the body I've been granted." Regina glared a bit at her wife feeling insulted that her dancing was solely thought of by all including her wife as overtly sexual. "Besides that it's considered a great honor to dance that dance."

"Just as great as the one you danced the night I first set eyes on you?" Emma asked her eyes dancing as she observed Regina's eyes narrowing in anger at what she conceived as an insult. The icy fire and passion the woman displayed had been what had drawn Emma in, ending in her fall from grace but she wouldn't have it any other way and Regina for all her strange ways and words truly did love her. Of that she could never have any doubts.

"That was for you alone my love. Unfortunately I couldn't dance for you in a more private setting so I made do with what was handed to me."

Emma smiled and leaned down pressing her lips to the top of Regina's right breast touching a small star shaped scar that would forever remind her of all they had endured to be together.

Regina closed her eyes feeling her anger immediately dissipate. Her wife's warm lips always had that effect on her. "We must get up soon Adonia if we are to meet with your advisors."

Emma groaned falling back against the rumpled silk sheets as she sighed, "So we must my darling. So we must."

* * *

Regina dipped low, dropping to her knees on the cool stone floor as she rolled her hips forward then back imitating the motions of sex quite easily. She rolled her stomach every time she moved her hips upward and then dropped them back her head practically touching the floor as she arched her back. She slid one foot under her then the other rising up by keeping her back dipped and her head lowered. She shifted upward turning when she heard clapping and smiled knowing the only one that would be here would be her wife. This room was hers and hers alone. It was clear of furniture and had various mirrors making it easier for Regina to study the movements of her body as she shifted and moved. Most of her movements were done with her hips and stomach but some movements required her shoulders to shake and dip as well. The mirrors were set at various angles making it easier for her to observe.

She stepped towards her wife, the little gold bells at her ankles tinkling with each step until she was standing in front of the queen.

"You're majesty." She dipped low playfully before rising to her feet the red skirt she was wearing parting to reveal her beautifully toned leg all the way to the hip. It was just like the skirt she'd worn the first night she'd laid eyes on Emma.

"My Queen," Emma dipped into a curtsey as she smiled at Regina.

"What are you doing here?" Regina asked softly. "I thought you had another council meeting."

"I thought you were going to join me."

"I did for the first I would rather eat my own tongue then sit through another." Regina smirked at her wife who gave a hearty laugh.

"Yes I'm sure you would. Come let's walk the two of us like we used to. We don't get to anymore."

Regina arched an eyebrow but gave a nod of consent. It was rare for her to wear the big courtly ball gowns she was forced into as the wife of the queen. She wore them on occasions mostly for state functions but she refused most times preferring the flowy clothing she'd always worn.

"Do you ever think about writing down our story to tell?" Emma asked after they'd gotten out to the gardens. The halls had been mostly abandoned only lined with the occasional guard at various doorways and windows to assure the safety of the royal couple and their visitors.

Regina studied the roses blooming nearby in their perfectly set up stone lined flowerbeds and their high hedges nearby to offer privacy for a long time before she turned to look at her wife. The bells clinking together once more as she smiled at Emma, "do you wish for me to?"

"Our children may wonder just how we got where we are."

"We'd have to flower it up. No one should know the things we've done."

"We did them to be together." Emma argued always the more positive of the two of them.

"Two monsters ruling a kingdom that adores them yes what a pair we make." Regina plucked one of the roses careful of the thorns but still one managed to bite into the soft pad of her thumb. She pulled it away her brow furrowing as she watched the tiny red droplet run down her finger.

Emma hissed slightly at the sight before she reached out drawing Regina's thumb into her mouth and sucking it slightly, swiping the torn skin with her tongue. Regina felt desire spark in stomach as her wife's tongue swiped over the split skin wiping away the blood there easily. Regina slowly slid her thumb from Emma's mouth giving her a small smile.

"Would you let our children think we are monsters? I do believe they would find that hard to imagine given that I'm the daughter of their slain King and Queen. Remember I'm the sweet innocent princess that was spared from it only because I had locked myself away in my grief over your impending execution." Emma asked even as Regina carefully tucked the rose behind her ear.

"I didn't say that. I merely said if you wanted our story written you'd best make sure it's edited." Regina arched a brow, "And you innocent?"

Emma laughed, "Always with the quick wit."

"That's a part of why you love me." Regina pointed out.

"Indeed. Still you should consider what I say."

"I will if it will make you happy."

"It will." Emma promised brushing Regina's hair over her other ear careful of the rose tucked carefully within her thick hair.

* * *

That night Regina pulled off the tiara she wore in her hair which was pulled up in an elaborate style set with combs and various rubies, Emma's favorite color for her. Her wife would be busy for a long time she knew. She was at least able to escape. She picked up her silver handed hairbrush after removing the jewels and pins and began to run it through the long locks until it fell heavily down her back in thick black waves. She studied herself in the gilded silver mirror hanging above the vanity. She looked no different than she had when she first married Emma all those years ago yet she knew there were some differences in the way she looked logically. She rose to her feet going to the ever present dark wooden desk in the corner of their large sitting room. Quills and ink pots sat nearby along with various sheets of parchment. She studied the blank sheets before making up her mind. If her wife wanted her to write her story that became theirs so be it. She would do it.

Her first true memory was that of a dragon. She remembered the way the greens and reds danced across the warm honeyed skin of her father's back. Much like the phoenix on her back his dragon represented many different things, wisdom strength and protection. She was three years old when she saw it for the first time up close. She could still remember it so clearly. She ran her finger along every inch of exposed flesh learning every notch there. Often she had asked her father, the chieftain of the Kabbaish tribe a warrior by the name of Adar, what possessed him to keep her and he'd always respond that she was his darling.

Adar was a good strong man with the same dark hair and eyes Regina herself sported and yet she'd always known he wasn't her biological father. He never treated her as anything less than his most precious child especially after the death of his wife Fatima and their newborn son when Regina was barely a year old.

"Daddy, what does it mean?" She'd asked as she traced her fingers over her father's back feeling the scars hidden beneath the ink of the dragon.

"It's a dragon my dear." He'd spoken in his softly accented voice. "In our tribe it means wisdom and strength. The ability to rule is mine and mine alone and the dragon symbolizes my prowess on the battle field and my ability to rule our tribe with honor. All of our rulers have worn various tattoos like this one."

"Will I wear one as well Daddy?"

He'd looked over his shoulder at her giving her a warm smile his rich brown eyes boring into hers. "Yes my love you will wear one as well."

"Will it be a dragon?" She'd asked cocking her head, her dark hair spilled down her arm in thick waves barely held back by the leather thong that she always wore but especially when she rode with her father.

"No. Our tattoos are unique to us my dear. The seer will know what is to be yours and when you turn sixteen you'll receive it which will reveal you as my heir."

"Will I get to pick it?" She'd asked.

"No lovely, yours will be chosen for you unique and unlike anyone else." He'd tapped her nose which she wrinkled cutely with a giggle. "Now I believe it's time for Kabbaishian princesses to go to bed."

"Daddy I'm the only Kabbaishian princess." She'd folded her arms across her chest staring up at her father in silent demand that he acknowledge what she said.

"Yes you are my dear. And you will always be Daddy's little princess."

She'd grinned at that before slipping to her feet padding across the skins on the sandy desert floor underneath and slid into her blankets on her little bedroll. Her father had picked it special for her to make sure she was always comfortable. He was always good to her. He'd tucked her in like usual with a kiss to her forehead and a promise to be back as soon as he went to make sure everything was taken care of for the night.

* * *

Regina set down the quill in her hand as she looked up hearing the painted inner doors to their chambers click open. She liked the scene there finding it reminded her of home because of the golden hues and the camels present on it. She suspected Emma had it painted that way to make her feel more at home.

Emma appeared a moment later smiling at the sight of her. "You slipped off early." She remarked.

"I didn't feel like listening to the nobles peddle themselves to us anymore." Regina rose to her feet wishing she'd thought to change out of the uncomfortable gown she'd worn for the ball celebrating their new alliance.

"Do you need help?" Emma asked watching as her wife reached for the strings that laced her into the deep burgundy gown with the silver trim.

"Do you mind?" Regina asked instead shifting her long dark hair out of the way. Emma's nimble fingers easily pulled and loosened the strings until the gown fell to the floor quickly followed by the corset and her bloomers.

"Thank you Adonia." Regina praised as she took a few deep breaths trying to catch her breath after having her body constricted for so many hours.

"What were you doing while you were away?" Emma asked even as she pulled her own gown over her head and unlaced the front of her corset.

"Writing like you asked. My first memories; I was three and I remembered my father's tattoo."

"His was a dragon wasn't it?" Emma lifted both their gowns off the floor throwing them over a nearby chair in the corner that she honestly thought of more as a clothes rack then an actual chair. The servants would pick them up in the morning after they got up.

"Yes a green and red dragon."

"Why isn't your phoenix red then since you were his daughter and all?"

"Because a phoenix of ice fit me better," Regina moved and settled on their large four poster bed. The bed had once belonged to Emma's grandmother she knew. They'd closed off the rooms her parents used to live in refusing to go near them not wanting a taint on their marriage. She slid her hands along the dark cherry wood feeling the carved rosebuds and vines.

"I suppose that's true." Emma shrugged, "You've always seemed like fire and light to me though."

"Ice can burn you just as well as fire can." Regina pointed out even as she opened her legs allowing Emma to move in between them and push her back onto the bed.

"True but ice can also freeze you in time where fire will destroy everything in its path. Fire is more like you then ice."

"Because I burned everything in my path to get to you," Regina arched a brow even as she shifted so that she was more up on the thick feather mattress.

"Because we set the world on fire and created a new more fitting to our liking." Emma pressed her lips to Regina's quickly turning passionate as often was the case when they were alone together for longer than a few moments at a time. Passion was going to be their downfall Regina thought hazily as Emma's hands slid along her torso. But honestly who would complain after being married for nearly four years that neither woman could get enough of the other?

Regina sighed as she slid her arms around Emma that night pressing her breasts up against the exhausted woman's back. They'd made love for hours but now was the time to rest. She shut her eyes trying to think beyond her first memories to those of the time when she wasn't so very happy. They would present themselves as she wrote she knew and Emma would threaten the dead with murder again if she could find a way to revive them once she knew of her worst tortures. She buried her face in her wife's neck releasing a puff of warm air as she sighed and slowly fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Okay so now we're getting somewhere with this piece. I do have to admit I'm shocked that it's not as popular as Helpless though admittedly it's the darker of the two pieces. Also please don't get angry with me about what's contained within. I was serious when I told you this was pretty twisted. So all the usual warnings apply, this is a darker piece with sexual content, abuse, rape, etc. Please don't read if you are faint of heart or not of age.

**Yearning **

**Chapter 2  
**

Regina sighed as she dropped down at the large desk in their rooms yet again. She was coming here more and more frequently especially now. With Emma now dealing with a full out battle- something about an elderly witch that wanted control of everything- she was being left alone more and more. Especially with the threat of another ogre war breaking out along with the previously stated war; Regina had never seen an ogre before, but from the descriptions from her wife she figured they weren't pretty or pleasant to deal with. The last ogre war had been almost a hundred years ago and since her wife's parents' capture of the imp Rumplestilskin nothing truly threatening had happened and yet all good things must come to an end.

Emma knew more about sword fighting and planning battle strategy then she ever did though Regina was decent with a knife and could give some rather helpful insights. Her father wouldn't have allowed her not to learn at least one weapon and he always insisted on her being there when he met with his people about upcoming battles. He hadn't wanted her to learn the sword and certainly something like a bow and arrow while a bit more like a lady still wasn't the right choice for his little girl. A spear would've taken too much power as well so a knife was the only logical conclusion. She'd enjoyed those lessons the most, they started the moment she turned four and was sturdier on her feet. Her father didn't want her to injure herself accidentally. Refusing to allow anyone to teach her other than himself he'd taken on the responsibility along with everything else that went along with raising a child.

"Daddy, I don't think it's heavy enough," She wrote as she recalled the first time Adar had given her a knife to use. "It won't hurt anything." She added. "I want something bigger."

"Regina," Adar smiled as he knelt down to her level. "You are so tiny you wouldn't be able to hold up a sword and a knife is a bit easier to carry around without anyone even knowing it's there."

Regina had frowned, "I'm not tiny Daddy." She pouted her lips at him. "I'm bigger than most of the kids my age."

"That you are my love but you're still not quite ready to be holding up a long blade. This will do for now and perhaps when you get older we will see."

Regina nodded her brow furrowing in concentration as her father took a fighting stance and began to show her some basic moves as well as how to throw the knife properly. It was a skill she wouldn't master until she was about ten summers.

At ten she was still a rambunctious precocious child with a strong sense of self and a mouth to back it up. At least that's what she was told on a regular basis by her adoring father. Everyone else merely allowed her to do as she chose she was their princess after all. She was also a bit cocky when it came to her fighting abilities.

"Daddy I don't want to hurt you." She'd spoken with wide eyes when the man had told her to throw the knife at his heart.

Adar merely smiled, "You won't hurt me my Gina."

She shook her head with a sigh as if her father was truly a dumb man. "Okay but it's your funeral." She muttered as she lifted the knife her father had given her when she was four. She took a breath centering herself as she pulled the knife back. She waited a moment eyeing the spot on her father's leather bound chest that the knife would hit before letting the steel fly. The knife flipped over itself twice its ivory handle and silver blade spinning before being caught firmly between her father's hands.

"How'd you do that Daddy?" She asked with a gasp as he held up his flat palms the knife held perfectly still in between them.

"A lot of practice my love. I'm going to show you how to catch it."

Regina's doe brown eyes widened, "You are?"

"Yes. I want you to learn every aspect of how to catch a knife. You may cut your hands a bit until you learn but better your hands than your chest."

Regina nodded, "I want to learn Daddy. Teach me now?"

"We'll start now. I'm going to use a wooden knife so that you won't get cut but it can hurt you when it hits you so I want you to be careful." Her father held out her knife to her and she took it sliding it into its sheath that hung from her leather belt that held up the short skirt that was just a bit too big for her just yet.

She bounced excitedly on the sandy desert floor as she moved a distance from the strong man and waited. The sun from this angle wasn't shining directly in her eyes making this a bit easier for her to see. Her father pulled back his large arm much in the same fashion she did but he didn't throw with nearly all of his strength. She watched the blunt ended "blade" as it flew towards her. She waited a moment or two trying to judge the distance before bringing her hands up and clapping them together much the way her father had. She was a moments too late and it hit her squarely in the chest with a thud. She gasped her caramel eyes widening as she watched it hit the ground.

"That's all right love. It's going to take time." Adar called watching his daughter's incredulous face with a look of amusement. His braided hair shifted from side to side as he walked towards her lifting the blunt ended "blade' from where it had fallen. "We'll have to practice a lot and you are likely to miss a lot. Do not worry we will have you there soon and that's what truly matters."

* * *

"There you are," Emma's soft voice interrupted Regina mid written word.

It took a moment for the brunette to register what was going on before she looked up smiling when she saw her wife. "How did the meeting go?"

Emma paused setting her heavily brocaded jacket on the back of the couch facing the stone hearth which was lit as today was cold and wet as she thought about how to address her wife's question. "Concerning," She decided. "The troops from Briar Rose's lands may not be able to get through the mountain pass due to the storms coming through the north."

"That's not a terrible loss we still have access to Cinderella and her husband Thomas' army."

"Yes but they are still unsure of me after my parent's untimely death and I worry they may turn on us."

Regina frowned, "They do dislike me immensely."

"I don't really care if they like you or not. As long as they respect you as queen," Emma moved around the desk stopping when she caught sight of Regina's leather battle skirt and top. "I haven't seen that outfit in a while."

"Yes well I haven't felt the loss of my tribe for quite a while either. This writing is bringing it back." She'd even pulled her hair back with the leather thong Emma had given her so long ago when she'd mentioned how much she'd missed her old clothing which she was never allowed to wear once she'd been brought to the Enchanted Forest.

"I'm sorry my love. Do you not wish to continue?" Emma studied Regina's beautiful face in concern.

"No, all the more reason for me to continue; I was never allowed to mourn for them Emma. My people my father they didn't even let me say goodbye before the lit the pyres."

Emma knelt down touching her wife's bare knees. "I know and I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. You were only a teenager yourself." Regina pointed out with a sigh glancing back at the parchment full of her curvy writing.

"Do you think us wicked Regina? Do you think we suffered so because of the things we did?"

"I didn't deserve to have my father and my people slaughtered before my eyes. Nor did I deserve the fate that awaited me at the hands of the monster that kept me his slave for years." Regina stared at the parchment and not her wife concealing the wetness gathering at the corners of her beautiful dark eyes.

"You're right. You didn't deserve any of it which makes me righteous in rescuing you from going to the gallows."

Regina gave a nod, she knew what had happened the night of her rescue more vividly then anyone could've imagined as her spouse had related it to her that very night. It was their first night together where they had merely fallen asleep in each others arms choosing to wait for their wedding night to share their passion for one another. "Yes my love for surely we deserve one another."

Emma arched a brow at that, "No," which caused Regina's head to swivel around to look at her with questioning eyes. "You deserve better than me."

"You are a Queen I don't think I could've done better."

"Do you still love me Regina? Even after what I've done?"

"Yes," Regina didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I love you. Why do you even need to ask?"

"Because I'm not the same person you fell in love with," Emma looked down sliding her hands along her wife's bare knees and down her shins and then back up.

"People are shaped by their experiences Adonia. I'm not the same person you loved either. A life of comfort and contentment has seen to that," Regina pointed out. "So you tell me do you still love me knowing all the things I've done and said to get where I am today?"

"Of course I do." Emma murmured, "Now more than ever."

"Then you needn't worry so about the circumstances that brought us together. Everyone will believe what they will about us. People claim that I've bewitched you, put you under a spell to make you believe you love me. That I'm the one that poisoned your parents and the only reason you escaped was because you were away that night."

"Our people say no such things. They adore you just as I do."

"They've also seen me and they know of the generosity you and I give them. We take care of them and they in turn adore us." Regina answered easily. "It's the people outside of our Kingdom that speak about me so."

"You know I would cut them down tomorrow if they ever spoke those words to your face." Emma murmured palming the golden sword handle hanging from her side. It belonged to her father another relic from their sordid past. It certainly made the case to their people that Emma was James' daughter and their true sovereign.

"Yes but if you cut everyone down there is no one that will help fight this upcoming war," Regina sighed rising to her feet brushing by her still kneeling spouse.

Emma slowly rose to her feet watching as Regina made her way to a small table in the far corner of their room lifting a golden pitcher and filling the two goblets resting there with the sweet red wine they both preferred. She made her way back to Emma with the same grace that had so captured her the first night they'd met. Regina was poetry in motion, her movements fluid and precise never wasted. To this day she wondered if any of the women of her wife's tribe still existed would they favor the same movements. Or was it solely Regina's way?

Regina held out the goblet to her wife taking a sip herself. "I would've liked to have had lunch in the gardens. The rain is a bit much for me to handle at the moment. I fear my emotions have been all over the place lately."

"Do you think…" Emma trailed off watching as Regina's hand trailed to her flat abdomen. She'd always have that she knew. She used far too many muscles in her stomach to dance to ever have them complacent.

"No not yet." Regina sighed, "It may not ever happen. After what happened…"

"That's why there's magic Regina. If you want it we can make it happen. We need only talk to a sorcerer or the fairies."

"The fairies won't help us. Not after the suspicion that has been cast on us." She pointed out settling her hand on her hip. "They believe the rumors just like everyone else."

"They will help if I ask Grumpy. He's owed a favor by them."

"You'd go to the dwarves? After all they accused you of?" She stared at her wife incredulous.

"If it means fixing the damages done then yes I'd do anything for you."

Regina sighed, "I know. But it's not necessary. We still have time and other options."

"Yes you're right as usual. We're both still young." Emma reached out sliding her hand along Regina's abdomen, "But that doesn't mean the thought of you carrying our child doesn't thrill me."

"And what if I'm unable to? Will you carry our child?"

"You know I would. Our kingdom won't suffer a lack of an heir from us." Emma pointed out.

Regina paused watching the sky light up before a loud crack of thunder could be heard through the stained glass windows of their room. "The storm is getting closer."

"With every passing day," Emma agreed softly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes/Warnings/Rantings: OKAY PEOPLE BE WARNED THERE IS RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER AS WELL AS TORTURE! It's glossed over but still there so if you don't think you can handle that this isn't the story for you. Just letting you know. It's kinda my baby so I'd like to see everyone enjoying it who can handle it. It's not something I do every day since it's very dark and very twisted but I hope you all enjoy it anyways. **

* * *

Yearning

Chapter 3

Regina stared out the window in the high tower she and Emma had made their rooms in. Outside the storms that had threatened their Kingdom for weeks now were slowly making their way over the Kingdom in thick black clouds. Lightening split across the sky and Regina counted silently in her head the way Emma had taught her when they'd first met to see how close to the storm was. She laid her hand against the stained glass feeling the way it shook as she reached eight in her head as the thunder's loud boom shook the window. Even from this distance it was still a powerful force to be reckoned with.

She pulled her hand away from the icy glass and turned back to the written pages she'd just stopped working on. Why her wife was so insistent on this she still didn't fully understand but she knew it was more about Emma's understanding then their future children. Regina never spoke much about her past, she would mention things here and there but she never would tell Emma fully what occurred to turn her into the person she was when they met.

She read over what she wrote studying her curvy writings. It was hard writing about the father she still so dearly missed. He had been her rock, her one constant. Sometimes she could close her eyes and still see the night he'd died. She was three days away from turning sixteen. Her tribe had always been very focused on the movements of their bodies particularly the female body. He'd insisted she learn how to dance in the fashion their tribe honored and wanted her as their princess to be good at. She had in turn excelled at it. He would watch her practice for hours with proud smile on his tanned handsome face, his arms crossed over his broad bare chest.

"How was that Daddy?" She asked as she finished her last twirl dropping to her knees and spreading them so she was sitting back on her bottom. Her chest heaved from the exertion the color sparkling high in her cheeks.

"Wonderful my dear you dance so beautifully. I should've had you taught sooner."

Regina grinned, her pretty white teeth making an appearance. "Thank you Daddy but I was happy just learning the knife and how to ride. I don't think you could've taught me to dance at least not in the way I'm supposed to." She motioned to the ever present knife now slid into the back of her top along with its case easily concealed.

Adar opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out as an ear piercing scream cut through the night air. He grabbed for his curved sword, "Regina stay here." He'd commanded as he raced from their tent. Of course she hadn't listened. Looking back she wondered if she had actually listened if she would've been killed along with everyone else. Perhaps it had been her choice of clothing the traditional bedlah that left her stomach exposed and her small breasts pushed up and together she would've thought made her more appealing to her captors or perhaps it was her looks she didn't fit the traditional looks of her tribe, too pale and tiny. She didn't know for certain what it was but she was taken prisoner by one of the riders in the strange silver armor that snatched her up and threw her over the saddle like she was a piece of meat. She'd struggled of course until the sword hilt came down on the back of her head.

Regina slid her hand up touching the back of her skull as though the large bump she remembered being there along with the pain would still be there. She hadn't seen what had happened after that waking up to the pain in her head and people that looked similar to her speaking a different language around her. The man with the most decorated armor she assumed was there leader. She was thrown from the large man that had taken her prisoner's shoulder where she fell ungracefully along the thick rug that was thrown down in the center of the tent around a large pole. She'd never seen a tent like this one. Furniture among her tribe was minimal. They were nomadic so they didn't take what they couldn't carry. This obviously wasn't the case with these people. The man with the gilded armor stood up from the large almost throne like chair he was sitting on.

"I thought I ordered the savages obliterated?" He'd demanded in a loud booming voice. Later Regina would learn the meaning of those words but at the moment they merely echoed in her ears as harsh sounds and syllables as foreign to her as she knew her language which sounded more musical would be to them.

"This one is different my lord." The man who had brought her here spoke. She pushed herself up despite the throbbing ache in her head only to find her hands had been chained together, the thick shackles making her hands throb. The blue and white phoenix's wings that she now so proudly wore seemed to dance and take flight with the movements of her shoulder blades. Her long hair fell forward hiding her face.

"She has a tattoo like the savage's leader. Is she his wife?" Another of the men asked.

"I don't think so. They weren't close together and look at her." Her kidnapper grabbed her hair in his fist clutching it tightly and pulling her face up. She gasped at the star burst of pain as his meaty fist came in contact with the tender part of her head. Her vision whitened for a moment as she stared unseeingly up at the large man that at the time she hadn't realized would be her master if he'd had his way.

"She doesn't look a thing like these savages." The man in the gilded armor spoke. He rose to his feet, his blonde curls falling loose from the heavy low ponytail he wore it in. His blue eyes slid across the exposed skin that he was now able to full take in from the angle she was being held up at. "Well aren't you a lovely little thing." He knelt down his golden armor squeaking a bit as he smirked in her face.

She drew back instinctively as he reached out touching her chin and holding her in place as he tried to study her features. She did the only thing she could think of to do. She pulled back even though it hurt badly and she spit directly in his eye. Watching with satisfaction as it hit and the look of shock then anger that crossed his face; the burst of pain that once again whitened her vision was worth it she decided even if it had caused her to pass back out again as he hit her with a closed fist.

Regina shuddered remembering the hell she'd been put through that night. That hit was only the beginning of her ordeal. She glanced up as her wife walked into the room. "It's begun hasn't it?" She asked.

"Yes, the white witch is strong but we will prevail." Emma set her sword down, it wasn't the one she used in battle but the ceremonial one that she used to rally the troops.

"You aren't out there on the battle field with your men?" Regina turned to look at her.

"I will be soon but I want you to accompany me. Just like the old days."

Regina arched a brow, "You are going to let me do battle with you? What happened to wanting to keep me safe?"

"I imagine my love that even if I ordered you to stay away you'd still join us out there with or without my permission."

Regina dipped her head, feeling her sapphire earring catch on her purple and royal blue bedlah's top. She gave a small dip knowing Emma would know what it meant without her having to say a word.

Emma grinned and shook her head, "You are something else."

"I have to stand toe to toe with you what sort of wife would I be otherwise?" Regina arched a dark brow waiting on Emma to speak.

"That's very true." Emma agreed with a laugh. "We will go in the morning for now. I'd like it if you'd join me in our bed." Emma's voice dropped seductively.

Regina gave her a weak smile. "In a moment; let me finish writing this."

Emma arched a brow but nodded her eyes still sparkling, "Don't take too long. I don't like to be kept waiting."

"And neither do I," Regina reminded her of the few times Emma had dared to keep her waiting when she was in a frisky mood.

She waited until Emma was gone to begin to write again. Writing in detail the beating and tortures she took that night with a detached air was harder then she thought it would be. Being strung up like a piece of meat by her wrists, her toes barely brushing the floor as the men had taken up large clubs and beat her with them. The bruises and lacerations had hurt for weeks. It didn't miss her attention though that they never hit her in the face. The man in the gilded armor had stood by and watched with a grin on his face as the young princess that had disrespected him so in front of his men got what he felt she deserved she could just tell from the look on his face.

Each time he would stop her beatings at random to ask her if she'd learned her lesson. She'd never understood what he meant not able to speak his language and she'd reacted the same way as before spitting at him each time which earned her another round of beatings. But that was nothing compared to having her virginity ripped from her by the same man she'd continued to fight against. It had hurt so badly, worse than the beatings her already painfully bruised body had endured.

Sex was sacred she'd always been taught. For a woman or man to lay with their choice of partner for her father had never told her she had to be with a man exclusively. He had always looked on her with a fond smile when he would catch her admiring another girl's body or in one case pressing kisses to one of the girls that helped serve them. He never told her not to do anything merely told her to enjoy her youth and her choice of partner was her own and to honor them in all the ways that he had taught her. So one could imagine her heartbreak when her first time with anyone was so violent and full of pain; she'd never forget the way his large calloused hands had held her down the way he'd kicked her legs apart even as she'd screamed and fought to the best of her ability which only got her hit more. The searing pain felt as though she were being ripped apart. When she'd finally passed out from the pain she'd welcomed it not wanting to be awake any longer.

Thinking and writing about such things always made Regina want to take a bath to wash away the feelings of violation but she had something better now. A spouse who loved her, who would do anything for her and who if she merely said the word would just hold her through the storm of her emotions until she felt ready to face whatever was thrown her way next. She sighed setting the quill aside and standing up walking towards their chambers and trying to forget about the tears silently trekking down her face that she knew she would have to explain.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yearning **

**Chapter 4**

Regina watched dully as the pyres holding her family and friends were lit. She hadn't even been allowed to say goodbye or mourn as she was thrown over the blonde warrior's saddle and lashed there like a dead animal. The sun had yet to rise in the sky. They were leaving the desert lands by nightfall so it wouldn't be so hot. Tears silently streaked her face as the few that were left of her people, mostly children and a few teenagers were put into wagons in irons likely to be sold off as if they were nothing more than cattle. She squeezed her dark eyes shut blinking away the tears. She had to be strong now, her father had always taught her to be strong and so she must endure.

Sitting up she stared around the room, her bedroom that she shared with her wife. The doors that led out to their balcony were firmly shut, the thick curtains drawn tight over them to allow none of the moonlight which was now hidden behind the storm clouds to peer inside. The fire burned low in the large stone hearth that dominated one corner of the room. It had to be lit due to the sheer draftiness as the storm raged on. Everything was in place, nothing was wrong but still there was a chill in the air that she didn't like the feel of.

She closed her eyes, feeling the silken sheets pooling around her naked waist. She glanced out the window but the storm prevented her from seeing much. The wind howled angrily shaking the glass doors softly but not blowing them inward. She laid back down slowly pulling the covers up over her bare breasts as she shifted closer to Emma who immediately threw her arm over her. Even in sleep Emma would always do her best to protect her. It didn't matter if it was the monsters outside of their home or the demons in her mind she would always be there for her.

She sighed softly, her breath coming out through her parted lips as her eyes slid halfway closed.

"Enjoying your new life dearie?" A soft voice echoed in their bedroom followed by high pitched laughter.

"What are you doing here?" Regina jerked sitting back up. She looked over at her wife seeing her staying asleep.

"Why I'm here to collect on our deal." The strange little man, with the green gold skin walked towards the bed. "Don't worry her majesty will stay asleep."

"We never made a deal." Regina said softly watching as he moved forward.

"Didn't we? You wanted out and I gave you a way out."

Regina narrowed her eyes, "You did no such thing. I did it all. I killed that bastard and his bitch where they lay their heads at night."

"Such words from a queen…or are you still the savage they once compared you to?" The little imp was grinning.

"Would you care to find out?" Regina asked even as her hand slid under the pillow to the knife Emma had given her.

The imp laughed, "I know the answer to that question probably better than most. None the less I'm the one that put it in your "master's"" Here he snickered, "head to bring you to the White Castle. I pushed him to let you dance knowing how it would seduce your dear dear princess."

"I never asked for those things." Regina pointed out her emotions flaring. She'd always wondered why she'd been brought to the palace when she had. She'd always been paraded around like a prized dog but it was rare for her to make appearances outside of the bastard's home and it was even rarer for her to be told to dance. Not many people knew she was capable of it.

"Yet here you are and from what I hear it caused quite an uproar when the princess married you."

"With the other royals not with our people," Regina said dryly. Emma's arm tightened around her minutely and she reminded herself that her wife was right here with her if something happened.

"Don't worry dearest." The imp spoke seemingly reading her thoughts, "she won't wake up for this. This is between us…for now."

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing, she'll wake up tomorrow as if nothing ever happened but for tonight she'll stay so deeply asleep that nothing or no one can awaken her."

Regina narrowed her dark eyes glaring hatefully at the little creature that had taken up residence in the corner of their large bedchambers.

Rumplestilskin grinned again as he moved across the thick rug standing closer to the large four poster bed pulling back the sheer curtains so that he was capable of seeing Regina's beautiful face. "Do you know your history dearest?"

"Why should I believe a word you say?" Regina asked instead. "You're here claiming that I owe you something when I asked nothing of you. If you chose to put me in this position then it was your own doing not mine. I ended up here regardless and Emma and I love each other very much and our people are happy despite what is going on outside of these walls. So if you're here for anything other than what you yourself put into motion then you may ask me for a favor but I can't guarantee I'll do it."

"How dare you speak to me like that? Do you know who I am?" The little man roared obviously angry with her blatant disregard of his status and power.

"You're the dark one. You're a trickster and an evil little imp. You make deals that only benefit yourself."

"All magic comes with a price." He grinned happily at her.

"So it does and I want no part of yours. So leave or I'll have the guards throw you out." Regina laid back down tucking her body close to Emma's as she heard the imp stomp out of their room presumably vanishing.

* * *

Regina opened her eyes the next morning to find her wife dressing. She sat up smiling slightly as Emma pulled on a pair of tight black leather riding pants. It would offer her some protection from the storm by keeping her dry and it would also seal in some warmth.

"Good morning." Emma smiled as she turned facing Regina who was now sitting up.

"Good morning." She replied as she walked back over to their bed, her bare feet not feeling the cold from the stone with the hearth lit and the thick rugs in rich blues and purples absorbing the cold. She sat down on their bed beside Regina her knee brushing the small table sitting nearby as she leaned forward pressing pink lips to dark red ones.

Regina moaned softly feeling the kiss turn heated very quickly as her arms slid around the blonde's shoulders. It hadn't been that long since they'd been intimate but even years after their first meeting neither could seem to get enough of the other finding various places and ways to be together no matter what the circumstances were. They'd even been caught a few times but really who would say anything to a queen who couldn't get enough of her spouse?

Emma forced herself to pull away leaning her forehead against the brunette's for a moment as she smiled softly at her. "I'm sorry to have leave us both like this but if we continue we'll never leave."

"You're right we won't." Regina agreed as she took a deep breath and released it slowly. "We should get going. Things are going to get out of hand without you there."

"Without either of us; the army likes to see their leaders out there among them."

"It would explain why they follow you without hesitation." Regina agreed demurely knowing what Emma said rang true. Her own father would never ask his people to do battle without being out there on the front lines with them. It was why they'd loved him so much.

Emma gave a small nod rising back to her feet and donning a poet's shirt with a leather jerkin of dark green. The green brought out her eyes and sent another jolt of arousal through Regina's system.

"You should get dressed as well my love." Emma moved to the vanity pulling her hair back and low in a simple ponytail.

Regina sighed rising to her feet and doing as she'd been told. Pulling on the similar leathers gave her a sense of peace. Though it wasn't the ones she longed for, those having perished along with her people so long ago, they still felt familiar and comforting. They weren't the ones she'd been made to wear at Richard's request either. These were all her own and she was glad for them.

She drew her knife from its hiding place under her pillow setting it on the small leather belt.

Emma arched a brow as Regina moved towards her, her fingers already buried in her hair pulling the strands into a neat plait down her back. "You're going to be cold Gina."

"I'll wear a cloak. Don't worry about me." Regina sighed as she tied the plait off before moving to grab the thick black cloak she'd wear when the ground would freeze. She'd never get used to the seasons here no matter how long she lived here.

Emma sighed watching her before giving a nod. Regina was as stubborn as they came there was no use telling her anything. She'd do as she chose every single time.

* * *

Regina moved with the grace of a dancer which if most of their surrounding guards could remember she was. She climbed into the saddle of the large warhorse easily lifting the reins as the black steed shifted and moved pawing the ground anxiously. He'd never throw her though they were as one the two of them. He'd been given to her by Emma not long after their marriage and the two were nearly inseparable. Emma had once joked that she should be jealous of the horse for getting all Regina's time as he did but it was all said in jest. They spent majority of their time together but Regina still managed to find time for the horse that reminded her of her father's from all those years ago.

Under watchful eyes Emma mounted the large white warhorse she favored her father's sword strapped to her hip just like always. They were night and day to each other but they cut beautiful figures and together they appeared as one. The dark and light side of one being; Regina reached out as Emma brought her horse close and took her hand. She pressed her lips to Regina's in the age old pledge of love and devotion. Regina gave a small bow of her head.

"My Queen," Emma spoke clearly wanting this to be overhead.

"You're Majesty." Regina bowed her head slightly in return but didn't drop her eyes. Emma was sovereign but that didn't mean Regina had no say in the things that went on.

"Together," Emma asked lifting their hands aloft.

"Forever," Regina responded easily.

Emma nodded finally releasing her wife's hand and lifting her father's sword a loft leading their party off towards the battle field that waged and grew with each passing day.


End file.
